"Meh" is sort of like okay, but not great. It's merely surviving and going through the motions. It's trying but not committing 100 percent. It's feeling good enough to get up in the morning and get on with my day but by afternoon feeling pooped out and not having the energy or mental stamina to be fully present with the kids or cook a healthy dinner.
I feel "meh" a lot. I'm pretty used to it.
Celiac disease. Candida overgrowth. Leaky gut. Food allergies. Gestational diabetes. Anxiety. Mood swings. Rapid heartbeat. Stomach aches, cramping, burning, gurgling, and pain. Nausea. Fatigue. Spaciness. Balance issues. Vertigo. Stuffy nose. Runny nose. Extremely dry skin. Eczema patches. Dark circles under my eyes. Screwy hormones. Receding gums and tooth pain. Sugar cravings. Headaches. Blah, blah blah.
That's my list of complaints. And I'm only 34 years old.
I feel like I'm an old lady. If I don't fix this, if I don't find a way for my body to heal, I'm going to have a new list in a few years with a lot more autoimmune problems and I'm not going to have the energy or ability to keep up with and care for my kids. And that scares the badonkies out of me. I want to feel good and have a long healthy life so that I can play with my grand kids one day.
Sometimes I think my kids are feeling a little "meh" as well. I see the difference in them on the days and weeks when I am not feeding them like I want to. Their energy, their moods, their sleep, their skin and their eyes... I can see the little effects on their body when we have too much take out or gluten free mac and cheese. It's been hard throughout my last pregnancy and the first six months with a high maintenance baby to feed my big boys and myself the right foods, and I've taken a lot of help from the frozen aisle at Whole Foods. I'm not proud of it, but I've been in survival mode and I did the best I could. Time to forgive myself and move on. Time to do a better job.
No comments:
Post a Comment